Why Beat Around the Bush?

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We often avoid coming right out and expressing how we feel or what we want.

Why would we ever just subtly imply something or drop a hint when we could openly and honestly express ourselves? Why do we hold back?

It’s got to be fear.

My experience shows me that not being forthright causes far more problems than it avoids. Misunderstandings and conflicts abound.

How many missed opportunities and regrets occur by being subtle and vague?

Fear. It’s the only thing standing between us and open, honest, real relationships and creating the best odds of getting what we want.

I believe that courage is the only antidote. To be open, honest and forthright in spite of being terrified of being real. This is our only chance of developing deep, meaningful, truly joyous relationships and interactions, yet the strongest tendency is to not do this.

It’s not that we are bad, faulty people, it’s just that during our most impressionable childhood years it was demonstrated to us that being honest often got us disapproval and or punishment. We were not safe if we always expressed ourselves openly and honestly. As little children we were vulnerable and learned to suppress many thoughts and feelings in order to protect ourselves from the dysfunctional big people in our lives.

The problem is, we carried this tendency into adulthood, believing ourselves to still be that vulnerable little child. But we are not. We are grown, independent and able to make our own choices. We can revert to our true original open, honest nature if we want to. We don’t need approval from our families or others around us who are acting in their own fear and would like us to remain in that state too.

I believe that doing what is good and honest and right is the only incentive we need,  which happens to be the only way to bring healthy relationships and true fulfillment to our life experience.


Featured Image: My husband Jeff off on a side excursion during our bicycle ride along Fort Worth’s Trinity River Trail. Photo by Brenda Kay Forest (Hoffman).

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